An Epiphany

             Today I had an epiphany. Although, I feel super dumb for believing it. They said that today, May 21, 2011 is the start of the judgement day (rapture). I'm a Christian. And I shouldn't even think twice about believing what the media say. Only God knows Himself when He will come. Tonight rather I mean this morning at 2:13am I realized how dumb I was being, how worldly I was being. I was believing and trusting the media more than the Holy Bible. This moment I realized that I wasn't being as active as a Christian as I was before. College changed me a lot and I think everyone changes during college. But, me out of all people, I didn't think I'd change this much. I am a strong-willed person and I believe in having morals and sticking to them. I also have a loud conscience. After, have this scare of the world coming to an end and having all these thoughts bounce around in my head, I decided that I don't wanna be scared when the end is near. I don't wanna feel like I regretted not doing something or saying something. Since, the prediction wasn't true, I wanna use my life for God's glory.


              For example, use my talents to bring or draw people to God. Singing is a God-given talent. I can join groups, ministries, and organizations that involve singing and promote Hillsongs. They are a good and awesome band, plus thier a CHRISTIAN band. When you hear their songs, they move you. Well, this is just an idea/example. I just want to give back to the Lord for what He has given me. (Even just studying well is glorifying Him.)


              Another thing I would like to do or change is my attitude. All my flaws in my personality, I want to change, erase, or simply tone down. Such as; impatient, easily-irritated, moody, straight forward, frank, procrastinator, judgmental, lack of motivation, and lack of commitment. I would like to create new friends and  enhance the old friendships. I wanna be a new me, a better me.


              This end of the world scare did me good. It taught me that I should live my life. Because for the past two weeks, I have been depressed, let me tell you. It may not be obvious until last Tuesday when I kind of broke down. I held it in and I should have let out my feelings to avoid this emotional break down. I was feeling lonely, even if I had many friends and a supportive loving boyfriend. It's just that the new sectioning was hard at first, then we all got used to it. But just a little too used to it that my very good friends from another section was kinda having a hard time fitting time to have bonding moments which therefore made me feel left out. Then I tried being more open and friendlier to my section mates, but they just wont budge. They are all so used to their friends that they had. So I really felt rejected and alone. But now I'm feeling better. I just need to remember that I need to live life happily. Life is too short to be sad. :)