Bad Luck.

I think I have such bad luck or God is trying to teach me a lesson. I've been getting sick alot this year. I now have a Urinary Tract Infection, and it's driving me nuts. I don't know what to do. After my morning pee, there's that frequent feeling of having to pee but I don't need to. It has made me spend most of my time in the bathroom. Towards the afternoon that feeling goes away. But surely comes back after my morning pee. :( I bought antibiotics already and will start tomorrow. I really need this to go away. It's affecting my performance at school. And college is a tough world out there. No excuses pretty much if you're absent. :( I know that I sound so DRAMA and like a big baby cause alot of people get UTI's, but I have a low tolerance in pain and I cry all the time when I'm sick. I never got sick as a child. Actually I started getting sick during college lang and it's hard when I don't have anyone really to care for me since my mom is away. And everyone here expects me to be an adult and take care of myself. But what I learned in my TFN class that when everyone is sick, they wanna be baby'd. It's nice to be taken cared of no matter how old you are. And yet again, I'm so thankful to my boyfriend.  He's always there to take care of me. And if I didnt have him, I'd probably be so miserable and rot in my room feeling sorry for myself :| Thank God I have him.

Any way. I would like to take this time to ask all you who care about me to pray for me. As I said before I have low tolerance to pain and something as simple as this is driving me nuts and I want it to be gone :((( I feel so sad. I want it out of my system and never to come back again. thank you so much if you decide to include me in your prayers. It means soo much to me.

Enough

I've had enough. How much can a girl take in a span of 1 month? College is not about finding your friends and stuff like that. It's not about drama either. Then why do these people keep creating problems and especially for me. Why can't you get a dictionary and learn how to be a REAL FRIEND. No wonder you have each other lang. You're the only people who can understand each other.

There are alot of things I regret during my first year of college. And that was letting go the ONLY friend I had that knew what friendship really meant.

It's so crazy that some people can really make you feel like crap. Grabe. All they care about is themselves! When it comes to the time that I need comfort, they don't give a shit. Sorry for the language but I'm really so pissed off with that person's attitude. Okay fine, I'll write out the story. I need to let it out narin! Basta there was a celebration, and I couldnt go kasi Japs didnt want me too. So tampo sila. Then later, early the next morning, Japs' lolo died. So I'm so happy I didnt go to the celebration. Kasi what kind of girl friend would I be to party while my boy friend is in the hospital taking care of his lolo who was in the ICU. I would've felt awful! Then I told them what happened and sana they understood, para walang paki. Just all caught up in theyre happiness they had last night. So I took that as an offense. You call yourselves my friends. But howcomes you can even be the least bit of comforting. Puro "!" mga comments nyo. parang galit and or just dont give a damn!

I've had enough. At this time. I feel completely alone. I need Japs. But he now needs me more than I need him. Now, he has to extend his stay in Camiguin. Im trying to be understanding but it makes me sad. Because I miss him so much. And he's my rock. He's the only one who can really comfort me whatever the situation may be. :(( I can't believe how my life is turning out right now.

Makes me think of moving back to the states, or transferring schools. Get a new fresh start. Cuz seriously, this is all too much to handle! Lord, Please save me.

An Epiphany

             Today I had an epiphany. Although, I feel super dumb for believing it. They said that today, May 21, 2011 is the start of the judgement day (rapture). I'm a Christian. And I shouldn't even think twice about believing what the media say. Only God knows Himself when He will come. Tonight rather I mean this morning at 2:13am I realized how dumb I was being, how worldly I was being. I was believing and trusting the media more than the Holy Bible. This moment I realized that I wasn't being as active as a Christian as I was before. College changed me a lot and I think everyone changes during college. But, me out of all people, I didn't think I'd change this much. I am a strong-willed person and I believe in having morals and sticking to them. I also have a loud conscience. After, have this scare of the world coming to an end and having all these thoughts bounce around in my head, I decided that I don't wanna be scared when the end is near. I don't wanna feel like I regretted not doing something or saying something. Since, the prediction wasn't true, I wanna use my life for God's glory.


              For example, use my talents to bring or draw people to God. Singing is a God-given talent. I can join groups, ministries, and organizations that involve singing and promote Hillsongs. They are a good and awesome band, plus thier a CHRISTIAN band. When you hear their songs, they move you. Well, this is just an idea/example. I just want to give back to the Lord for what He has given me. (Even just studying well is glorifying Him.)


              Another thing I would like to do or change is my attitude. All my flaws in my personality, I want to change, erase, or simply tone down. Such as; impatient, easily-irritated, moody, straight forward, frank, procrastinator, judgmental, lack of motivation, and lack of commitment. I would like to create new friends and  enhance the old friendships. I wanna be a new me, a better me.


              This end of the world scare did me good. It taught me that I should live my life. Because for the past two weeks, I have been depressed, let me tell you. It may not be obvious until last Tuesday when I kind of broke down. I held it in and I should have let out my feelings to avoid this emotional break down. I was feeling lonely, even if I had many friends and a supportive loving boyfriend. It's just that the new sectioning was hard at first, then we all got used to it. But just a little too used to it that my very good friends from another section was kinda having a hard time fitting time to have bonding moments which therefore made me feel left out. Then I tried being more open and friendlier to my section mates, but they just wont budge. They are all so used to their friends that they had. So I really felt rejected and alone. But now I'm feeling better. I just need to remember that I need to live life happily. Life is too short to be sad. :)

Hello, this is my high school best friend :) her name is Ms. Ma. Angelica Go. We first became friends when we were both in our second year of college hihi! That was the year 2007? Its funny on how we became best friends :)) very funny indeed. Actually, we both had boyfriends at the time and it was not allowed in our school to have relationships. So we stuck together cuz we could you know, keep our relationships a secret with each other. :) haha funny! We would always have double dates and call ourselves "the fantastic four" haha. Well, we broke up with those bfs, but we still stuck as best friends! I love gelly! We had our ups and downs, but we made it through. I am so thankful for her. I can honestly say that she help shaped me into the woman I am today. She was the person who approached me when I wasn't being nice or my attitude was bad and I changed it since that day.:) I LOVE YOU GELLY! :)) We should've made a Sexiversary! Oh yeah, we call each other Sexi, baaaack in the day, we were both very slim and sexy haha and we reminisce on those days! haha we will be sexy again don't worry! HAHA.

My favorite memory with Gel was when our classmate asked us if we knew what "FUGLY" meant. haha Then our classmate said its "Fvcking ugly" haha then we laughed and Gel said point to me then to herself, "I thought it was fat and ugly?" hahah so it was like she was referring to us as the fat and ugly! hahaha you just had to be there to really understand :)) ok ok well I think I can continue sharing more about her next time :) Thanks for ready, Please follow :)

Hello!

Hello Readers!
I decided to make this blog since I love to write my thoughts and opinions. I'm looking forward to blogging. I've done blogging before on multiply but never a full on blogging site :) So I'm new hihi.

So I just wanna briefly introduce myself. So, first of all, Im Jessica. :) You can call me Jess, Jessii or whatever haha! Im 19 years old. My birthday is November 13, 1991. I was born in San Francisco, California. I lived in SF til I was 14 then I moved to the Philippines to take up High School and College. I'm planning to go back after college. So, some of my hobbies/talents are singing, playing volleyball, and putting on make-up! hihi!

Singing, is something that I can honestly say I've been doing forever. My dad's side of the family is really musically inclined so it's  in my blood. haha I started performing solos and choir's when I was in the first grade! haha since then, I join whatever I can :)

Playing volleyball, I started 7th grade. Our school didn't start having a volleyball til when I was in the 6th grade so yeah. ahah I was a basketball more when I was young. When I moved to the Philippines that's when I became hard core for volleyball :)

Make-up, I love love! That's all I can say. I learned tricks from my mom and youtube :) hihi I have a youtube but I didnt have time to really film and Im kinda shy haha that's another reason I started to make this blog hihi!

Others: I like to sketch. I'm an aspiring fashion designer. My plan is after I become and RN (registered nurse), I'll work for a bit then go back to school to study fashion. :) Then start small, like being an asistant to a fashion designer or a stage manager at a fashion show or a stylist. Then eventually get my own line up. I'm thinking of naming it "Just Jessii" :) or "Simply Jess".

I also like to dance! Well, more like at a party or with friends. Not choreo! I can't dance Choreo to save my life!! haha I would like to learn salsa or something though :) hihi And Im good at shaking my hips and I wanna take up Hula :)

Hmmm.. what else? I love the color purple. In all shades. but I love the royal purple. hihi pretty pretty! I love hearts :) all things with a design of hearts! :)) im obsessed!

Okay so more on my life than my hobbies and likes. I have two younger sisters. I'm happily taken, my boyfriend and his name is Japs Popera :) We've been going out for almost 7months. yupyup

So, til next time :) Please follow!